


the one where agatha finds out

by angryjane



Series: The Ones Where People Find Out [1]
Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Agatha Wellbelove Finds Out, Domestic Boyfriends, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Lesbian Agatha Wellbelove, M/M, Making Out, Penny is a good bro, Simon Snow & Agatha Wellbelove Friendship, Simon Snow's Wings and Tail, Visiting, i love agatha wellbelove, it's just fluff, it's simon and baz making out, not agatha making out, or bi or pan i'm not sure
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-11
Updated: 2019-04-11
Packaged: 2020-01-11 21:09:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18432158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angryjane/pseuds/angryjane
Summary: Agatha visits. It goes literally exactly how you think it's going to.





	the one where agatha finds out

**Author's Note:**

> :) :) i. love. agatha. wellbelove. so. much. :) :)

 

**Penelope**

 

Agatha was coming for a visit. Penny was trying not to panic but _god_ , this could be a disaster. As Baz’d become fond of saying, _this could end in flames._ For one thing, she’d waited until she was about to head to the airport to tell Simon and Baz that Aggie was visiting.

“Wellbelove? Here?” Baz had asked, an eyebrow raised. “Do her parents know she’s back in the UK?”

“No. And you can’t tell them. I just… miss her, okay?” She’d huffed, crossing her arms. “And I expect this flat at least a little tidy by the time we arrive. Please, boys.”

Simon had saluted, giggling a little.

For another thing, Penny hadn’t bothered to mention Simon and Baz’s relationship to Agatha.

That was going to be a problem.

“Penny!”

Penelope turned around to see Agatha rushing towards her, suitcase sliding along behind her. Except she wasn’t how Penny’d last seen her—she’d cut her hair into a cute pixie cut, and there were pink streaks in it. She wore a sundress. She looked… good. Happy. Healthy.

Agatha leaped at Penny, laughing. God, she’d missed her.

“Hey Aggie. How’s the California life?”

“Good, good. I’m tired though, let’s talk in the car.”

They made their way out of the airport and to the car, which Penny had snatched from Baz.

“Nice ride,” Agatha giggled, “You got some kind of hotshot job now?”

Pulling open the driver’s side door, Penny hummed. “It’s not mine.”

“Oh?” Aggie raised an eyebrow, sliding into the passenger seat.

Penelope started the ignition and pulled from the parking lot, carefully considering her words before, “It’s Baz’s.”

Agatha choked.

Okay, too soon.

“Baz? As in, Baz Pitch? Basil?”

“Yeah, him.”

“Why do you have his car? Are you and him…”

Penny laughed, catching on. “Oh god no.”

“Oh good.”

“No, Simon would kill me.” Penelope continued, coming to a red light.

“He still obsessed with him? After all this time?”

Penny laughed. Oh, the irony.

“More than you know.”

 

 

**Baz**

“So.” Baz said, glancing around the room from his spot on the couch. Simon was currently curled into his side swiping at candy hearts on his smartphone. It made a cute little bubble sound every time he made a match, and Snow would giggle adorably. He had this soft jumper on, one of Baz’s, the sleeves too long and the neck too wide, practically drowning him in wool.

“So.” Snow replied lightly, looking up a little at Baz, his cheek squished against the vampire’s shoulder. He tossed his phone onto the couch beside him. It bounced and tumbled to the floor. He made no move to pick it up, instead asking, “Are we gonna clean up like Penny told us to, or…?”

“Or.” Baz repeated, grinning a little. Simon looked funny with his face mushed around like that. Baz leaned down and pecked his cheek, making him giggle again. He really just loved that giggle.

“Or?” Simon echoed, moving off the couch to straddle him instead. His knees slotted around Baz’s hips, hands coming up to tangle in Baz’s hair, causing him to look up slightly to see his boyfriend, taller than him for once.

“Or we could… Not do that.” He breathed. Simon grinned, forehead coming in to press against Baz’s. His breath ghosted over Baz’s lips and he shivered, leaning up to kiss him, but Simon pulled back, laughing again.

“Eager, aren’t we?”

“Fuck you,” Baz said, hands shifting to slip under the hem of Snow’s shirt, fingers brushing against warm hipbones. He didn’t have to look to know there were three moles there; one on the left and two on the right.

Simon giggles, tucking his face into my neck and leaving little kisses there. “You’re welcome to anytime you like,” He sighs. Baz can feel him smiling against his skin, that prick.

“Simon,” He growls, fingers tightening on the other boy’s waist. Snow laughs again, but finally moves to kiss him.

What surprised Baz most about their relationship, besides how _happy_ it made him, was how willing Simon was to try things. He hadn’t even known he’d liked boys, but here he was eager and giggling in Baz’s lap. They still hadn’t done much besides kissing, but Snow had made it perfectly clear he was interested in such endeavors.

_Un_ surprising was Simon’s warmth and skill. Even his mouth was like fire, Baz thought.

Simon’s nails slithered against Baz’s skull, sending little tingles down his spine. He pushed against Snow’s mouth hungrily, growling again. Simon’s tail whipped back and forth behind him, thumping against Baz’s shaking knees.

“ _Baz_ ,” Simon sighed, kissing the corner of his jaw.

“Yes, Snow?”

“I really like you.”

_Crowley,_ _he’s going to fucking kill me._

 

 

**Penelope**

“So, found yourself a bloke yet?” Penny asked conversationally. They were a few minutes from the flat now, and she felt oddly on edge. She just wanted this to go well.

“Err, not quite.” Agatha chuckled, picking at her dress’s hem.

“Oh?”

“… More like a girl.”

Penny swerved, pulling the car across the empty lane to park on the curb.

“Tell. Me. Everything.” She breathed eagerly, turning in her seat to face Agatha, who was pink to her ears now.

“It’s not a big deal,” She tired, but Penny held up a hand.

“I want to know everything about her. What’s her name?”

“…Andi.”

“That’s a nice name. What’s she look like?”

“Uh,” Aggie pulled her phone out, unlocking it to show her the home screen. It was Agatha and a girl hugging, faces pressed close together and smiling. She was short, with long brown hair and broad shoulders.

“You guys are so cute together! Why didn’t you tell me before?”  
“I wasn’t sure how you’d feel about… _it_.”

Penny raised her eyebrows. “About you liking girls? Aggie, I don’t care about that, I just want you to be happy.”

Agatha smiled at her, saying softly, “Thanks Penny. That means a lot.”

“Of course. Now let’s get home, you must be starving.”

 

 

**Agatha**

Of course Simon and Penny lived on the tenth floor, and of course their lift was broken.

After lugging a heavy suitcase up the steps and down a labyrinth of hallways, they stopped at the door at the end while Penny dug her keys out of her pockets. She pulled them out, then stopped, turning to Agatha. She looked nervous.

“Um. Aggie, I need you to promise me you aren’t going to freak out.”

“Penny, it’s gonna take more than a messy flat to freak me out. I used to date _Simon_ , remember?”

“Oh I remember.” Penny sighed. What the hell did that mean? “Just,” Penelope continued, “Just try not to freak out.”

“Penny, what—“ But she was already bulldozing into the flat, the door banging open.

And there, on the couch, was Simon, looking exactly the same as always, except with wings and a tail now—and Baz.

And they were _kissing._

No, not kissing—making out. With hands and _tongue_. And they didn’t seem to notice the two girls in the room, until Penny cleared her throat pointedly and thy sprung apart.

“OH! Uh,” Simon stuttered, “H-Hi Agatha!”

She didn’t respond, just took in his rumpled clothing and mussed hair, eyes flitting towards Baz, who was wiping at his mouth with a look of indifference.

“Oh. My. God.” Agatha breathed, and then she couldn’t help herself—she laughed.

Not just a chuckle, either. She clutched her sides, doubling over, laughing like a madwoman, because _of course._ It all made sense now. The obsession, the stalking, the fighting, the antagonism, all of it. Jesus Christ.

Simon was watching wide-eyed, while Baz only looked amused. Penny sighed and moved to the kitchen to make tea.

Agatha collapsed onto the couch beside Simon, still laughing.

It all made sense now.

“Of course,” She giggled, “Of-fucking-course.” She leaned over Simon to look at Baz. “You never really liked me, did you?”

He shrugged. “Not romantically.”

Agatha turned her attention to Simon. “And you, you’re an idiot. I bet you didn’t even realize, did you?”

He shook his head, at a loss for words.

“Unbelievable.” She sighed, still grinning. “I missed you guys.” Cutting her eyes to the side, she tilted her head, “Even you, Basil.”

“You look healthy, Wellbelove. The States treating you well?” God, he sounded so posh. She can’t believe she used to find that sexy.

“Aggie has a _girlfriend_ ,” Penny cuts in, coming back with a tray or tea and scones. She puts it on the coffee table and falls into a plush chair across from the couch, since there’s no more room, especially with Simon’s wings taking up half the space.

“Penny!” Agatha huffs, looking at her feet. It’s not like she thinks they’ll mind, especially now, but still it feels weird to tell them right off the bat. Everything’s still so new.

“Really? That’s great!” Simon says enthusiastically through a mouthful of scone. Crumbs fly, landing in her lap. She brushes them off, fighting back a fond smile. God, she missed him.

“Yeah. Her name’s Andi.”

“She’s _cute_ ,” Penny cries, leaning forward in her seat, “Go on, show them!”

Agatha pulls the picture back up, turning it towards the other two.

“She’s pretty.” Simon acknowledges with a nod.

“Hm.” Baz agrees. “Not my type though.”

“Oh?” Aggie raises an eyebrow, a move she learned from the vampire himself, “And what’s your type, Basil?”

Baz opens his mouth to respond, but Penny cuts him off—“Simon. Simon’s his type.”

Agatha breaks out laughing again at Simon’s look of shock and Baz’s matching one of outrage.

It feels good to be home.

**Author's Note:**

> comments would be lovely!!
> 
> (ps idk how to write making out, i suck at it, so pointers on that would be actually amazing!!)
> 
> have a lovely day!!!
> 
> oh anf find me [here!](https://angryjane.tumblr.com/) talk to me!


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